2001-07-09 - 10:07 a.m. - the burn

dear ida,

as soon as i hung up the phone, tears started to roll down my cheeks. i wiped them away, trying to stop them but had to give up. they needed to come out. somehow i knew they were lurking, anyway. towards the end of the phone call between when i said 'dont worry about me,' and 'i love you' i could feel the burn in my throat start. the burn that forms the lump that causes the tears. once the burn starts, there's no turning back.

i looked at the phone snuggly back on the receiver and wondered if my tears were heard on the other end or had i hung up the phone quickly enough?

because surely if the tears were heard the worry would begin. not only on my end, but on theirs.

xo, me.

 

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